


I should go

by Obliviouschyld



Series: Songspiration [6]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Best Friends, Feelings Realization, Jinyoung is only mentioned here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-05 22:58:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10319201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obliviouschyld/pseuds/Obliviouschyld
Summary: I should goBefore my will gets any weakerAnd my eyes begin to lingerLonger than they shouldI should goBefore I lose my sense of reasonAnd this hour holds more meaningThan it ever couldI should goI should goBaby, I should go





	1. I should go by Levi Kreis

**I should go- Levi Kreis**

 

Here we are

Isn't it familiar

Haven't had someone to talk to

In such a long time

And it's strange

All we have in common

And your company was just the thing I needed tonight

Somehow I feel I should apologize

Cuz I'm just a little shaken

By what's going on inside

 

It's so hard

Keeping my composure

And pretend I don't see how

Your body curves beneath your clothes

And your laugh

Is pure and unaffected

It frightens me to know so well the place I shouldn't go

I know I gotta take the noble path

Cuz I don't want you to question

The intentions that I have

 

I don't mean to leave you with a trivial excuse

And when you call tomorrow, I'll know what to do

 

I should go

Before my will gets any weaker

And my eyes begin to linger

Longer than they should

I should go

Before I lose my sense of reason

And this hour holds more meaning

Than it ever could

I should go

I should go

Baby, I should go


	2. I should go...

“Is this okay?” ask Mark as Jackson opens the door to his apartment.

“Of course. Don’t worry about it.”

“How about J-jinyoung?”

“Oh, he is outstation for work and he knows you okay,” replied Jackson as he punches Mark’s arm affectionately.

“And you have too much of a drink anyway and in no condition to drive or even walk back to your place. So rest a while.”

Mark nods his head and made his way to the end of the sofa. It had been quite some time since he had been in Jackson’s apartment. Ever since he got together with Jinyoung. Mark just didn’t feel like intruding. Afterall, he was just the best friend.

 

As he sat there, trying to gain his equilibrium from all the drinking he was doing, he felt a cold thing place on his cheek. He opened his eyes only to see his grinning best friend placing a cold bottle of water against his face.

“Water?”

Mark smiled and took the bottle. He quickly drank it all up in one go. He was more thirsty than he thought. He groaned in gratitude.

“Taste good right?” as Jackson peered at his best friend.

“The best.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Maybe they realize that they haven’t been spending much time together but when Mark was feeling awful that night, Jackson was the first person he thought of. He was glad that his invitation to drink with him was taken up by the younger.

 

“Hey, you okay dim sum?” 

It was a nickname that Mark hasn’t heard for the longest time. It was given by the younger for no apparent reason. His only reason that Jackson could think of was that his head was small.

“I guess so mandu,” slipping into the younger’s nickname just as easily. Mark sighs.

“I’m sorry for not calling for such a long time and all of a sudden, when I do, it's to invite you to drink with me,” adds Mark.

“It’s okay. I’m kinda glad you did. Wanted to catch up with you for the longest time but was busy as well.”

Mark was playing with the bottle in his hand. Not knowing what to do with his hands. He was beginning to feel a bit restless. Jackson was staring at him at the other end of the sofa. He got annoyed and took the bottle out of Mark’s hand and went to the kitchen to dispose it. When he came back, he went back to his seat, at the end of the sofa, opposite of Mark.

 

“So, who is that person that you were talking about at the bar?” 

Jackson was trying to gage his expression. But Mark remained as stoic as ever. It was a very normal thing from the elder but tonight it seems very forced.

“Ummm… Just somebody I met a month ago.”

“So, what happened?”

Mark stared at Jackson. He didn’t know what to say. Afraid that he said something, it might reveal something to the younger. After all, Mark wasn’t that sure what he was feeling now but he knew it shook him to the core and made him question every action that he ever made.

“I don’t know. We met. Had a good time. Suddenly she told me that she loves me. I got cold feet. Didn’t know what to answer her. Left her hanging. Went out for a drink with you.”

“Wow. When did this happen? And can you elaborate further. You are talking in morse code”

Mark took a deep breath. He just needed somebody to listen to him so that he could actually figure out things.

“I met her in a bar about a month ago. We exchanged numbers and from there we would go out from time to time. It was nice. She is a fun person to be with. Almost like a girl version of you. Then a week ago, she told me she loves me. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I just said okay and I’ve been avoiding her ever since.”

Jackson started laughing. His high pitched hyena laugh. He didn’t know why he was laughing but he found the situation very funny.

“That's not a very gentlemen thing to do.”

“Yah… Don’t laugh you idiot.”

Jackson was giggling which made Mark kicked him which made the younger laughed harder. How he loves the sound of Jackson’s laughter. It was pure and unaffected. It was always so genuine, like him. Jackson took hold of his feet and started pressing at the balls of his feet. Mark almost groaned. It felt good after being on his feet the whole night.

 

“But seriously, it isn’t like you to be this way dimsum. Don’t you like her?”

Mark sighs again. 

“If I knew, I wouldn’t feel this way right?”

Jackson nods. They were silent again. Jackson was still holding onto Mark’s feet, still massaging it. Then he started talking about random things. Mark was grateful. He knew that the younger was just trying to take his attention away from his problems at the moment. Mark couldn’t help but stare at Jackson while he talks.  Jackson didn’t realize the look that Mark was giving him. Mark had always knew that Jackson has a good body. Tonight, he had already changed into his tank top with a pair of sweatpants. Mark notices his tone arms. It wasn’t very muscular or has a lot of veins. It was just right. The tank top and sweatpants was clinging onto the right places.  The top was fitted at his chest but not too tight. He could see the faint outlines of his abs where the top was resting. His sweats encasing his thighs just enough for him to know that it was tone with the right amount of muscles. Mark took a deep breath. Hoping that Jackson didn’t notice anything. He was glad when Jackson was still rambling about random things.

 

While he was looking at Jackson, listening to him talk, it hit him again. He was in love with his best friend and had always been in love with him. How did he not notice all this before. But he knew he had missed his chance. He was very happy with Jinyoung. Mark wasn’t gay to begin with in the first place. He had always been the straight guy while Jackson had always been the gay best friend. They had known each other for a long time and stuck together when Jackson came out to him. It took Jackson so long to finally found someone who made him as happy as he is now after encountering countless of assholes on the way. Mark was always the one who helped him through it all. It took Mark a while to notice that Jackson had stop talking and was now stroking his legs gently. As if he was caressing them.

“I think it’s getting late. I better get going.”

“You sure Mark? You had a lot of drinks just now.”

Mark unconsciously stroke his face.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine. The bottle of water helps and especially that foot massage,” tease Mark.

Mark knew he better leave soon or he wouldn’t know what he would do if he stayed any longer. It wasn’t fair for Jinyoung. But now that he knew what he was feeling, he knew what he must do to make sure everything will be fine.

“You can always stay the night Yien.”

It had been a long time since he heard Jackson called him that. He felt his willpower was getting weaker. 

“It’s okay Jiaer. I’m fine. Really.”

Jackson reluctantly allowed Mark to go home after making him drink some more water to make sure he was sober enough to get back on his own. All Mark wanted to do was to kiss the life out of Jackson but he wasn’t his. He kept thinking how unfair it was for Jinyoung and for Jackson. He didn’t want to risk the friendship that he had build with Jackson crumble in a blink of an eye. 

 

Jackson walked Mark to the door. As Mark turned to say goodbye, Jackson just held onto his hand. Intertwining their fingers. Very reluctant to see his best friend go. Mark was staring into his eyes. Trying to make sense of what is happening.

“Jiaer, I should go.”

Jackson just held on his hand and nods, not looking at him in the eye, staring at their hands.


	3. Should I stay?

“Jiaer, how am I supposed to go if you won’t let go of my hand?” said Mark gently. 

His heart was beating wildly. He felt like his heart was going to burst any minute from that small gesture. Well, it might be small for Jackson but for Mark it meant a lot. It might be giving him a bit too much hope at the moment but he wasn’t sure as Jackson had always been very clingy and affectionate with him since forever. Jackson shook his head, still not wanting to let go of Mark’s hand. He put his head on Mark’s shoulder. Mark stroke his hair with his free hand and chuckled.

“Hey, why so clingy tonight? I promise to see you soon k,” said Mark.

Jackson shook his head again.

“The last time you said that, I didn’t see you for a few months until tonight.”

That was true. The last time Mark saw him was when he introduced him to Jinyoung. Mark didn’t know what he was feeling then but tonight he finally could put into words what he was feeling but he wasn’t sure if that was a bridge he wanted to cross. 

 

 

They just stood there. Jackson holding Mark’s hand. Head on his shoulder. Mark stroking his hair. Jackson was only in his tank top and sweatpants while Mark was already wearing his jacket, ready to leave. He could see the goosebumps on Jackson’s shoulders and he could feel him shivering slightly.

“Now go in Jiaer. You are shivering. Let go of my hand and get in before you get sick.”

Jackson shook his head.

“I don’t want to Yien. If I let go of your hand, you would just disappear again then I’ll end up missing you again.”

Mark chuckled. He could feel the tears in his eyes. How he wish that Jackson would miss him the way he wants him to. But of course he only misses him the way a best friend misses his best friend.

“Just one more hour please Yien.”

Mark sighs. How could he say no to Jackson. It had always been impossible for him to say no to him ever since they had known each other. Mark gently pulled his hand from Jackson’s grasp and cupped Jackson’s face with both his hands.

“Okay BUT just one more hour okay,” said Mark.

The smile that broke out of Jackson’s face was one of pure joy. He nods enthusiastically and pulled Mark in.

 

 

They were once more settled on the sofa. Jackson had somehow convinced Mark to watch a horror movie with him, IT. Mark wasn’t very happy about watching such a long movie but he was weak against Jackson’s puppy face nuzzling against his neck. As if to make sure that Mark wasn’t going to run away, Jackson brought a blanket out and parked himself right behind Mark. Mark’s back against his chest and hugged him. It was something they had always done when they were younger because Jackson was afraid of horror movies. It was nostalgic. It was comfortable. Though it made Mark’s heart ache just a little, he liked it.

“What if Jinyoung comes home suddenly? I don’t want him to misunderstand.”

“Oh, he won’t be back till like next week so don’t worry. Now shhh. I’m trying to watch this.”

“I doubt it.”

“Shhh…” 

Mark knew it was a lost cause to fight him on this one so he just lets himself to be engulfed in his embrace. It was nice. Jackson would nuzzle his neck from time to time, as if to take in his scent or to hide from the clown. Mark would prefer if it was the former. He could feel himself getting hard.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” said Mark abruptly.

Jackson whines in protest still not releasing Mark from his embrace, “You are messing up my comfy position.”

“Well, a man’s gotta go when a man’s gotta go unless u want me to pee here now.”

That made Jackson pushed Mark away as fast as he could.

“Fine. Come back soon before the clown gets me.”

 

 

Mark took his time in the bathroom to calm himself down. He looked into the mirror, hoping it wasn't blushing or anything. Because he was so lost in his own world, he manage to splash himself with water and wet his pants while washing his face.

“Dammit!”

He came out of the bathroom holding his pants.

“Hey, I need to borrow your dryer.”

“Sure. Did you pee on yourself?”

“No! If I did, I would be asking for a spare boxers instead.”

Jackson started laughing.

“Hurry! The scary parts are coming!”

“Fine!”

Mark quickly chucked his pants into the dryer, and went back to the living room. He was feeling a bit conscious of himself wearing boxers only. 

 

 

Jackson seemed to not notice his uncertainty and pulled Mark back into the position before when he stood close. Mark could feel his face getting slightly warm but Jackson took no heed of it. Jackson’s arms was wrapped around his waist once more, lips on his shoulder. Mark was sure he heard him sigh in contentment. Mark was so engrossed in the movie when he felt Jackson biting his neck. He thought he was imagining things so he ignored it. Jackson was trying to gage his reaction but it seems like he wasn't stopping him so he continued nibbling and dared himself to start kissing and licking his nape. He was damn sure that it was not a remote poking his ass. 

Mark revel in the feel of Jackson's mouth on him. He kept himself from groaning from pleasure. Jackson could hear his breath getting heavier. He dared himself to slip his right hand under Mark’s shirt, letting his fingers graze against his nipple. He heard Mark take in a sharp breath. He continued attacking his nape and he was getting more daring with his fingers. He began pulling Mark’s nipple and Mark found himself getting lost in this delicious sensation and found himself letting out a moan. Jackson pulled Mark's face towards his and began kissing him. Mark found himself holding onto Jackson's neck with his left hand. They were making out hot and heavy when Mark felt Jackson’s hand slowly making his way to his crotch.

 

Everything in Mark's mind was screaming that he shouldn't be doing this with his best friend. He shouldn't be letting Jackson cheat on Jinyoung. But when he felt Jackson’s hand wrapped around his cock, all his thoughts was silence. All he could think of was how good it felt and how good Jackson was making him feel. He could feel Jackson stroking him gently, his fingers teasing the slit, his mouth sucking on his neck. He was sure that it would leave a bruise on him but he didn't care. This might be possibly the first and last time he was doing this with his best friend. Jackson stopped and looked at Mark. How beautiful he was so wanton in his arms.

“Yien, if you don't want this, say something now.”

Mark was given a choice but the feeling of wanting Jackson to continue was stronger than anything else. Mark didn't say anything but pulled Jackson in for a kiss.

“I won't stop now even if u tried cause I can't,” growled Jackson.

Mark whimpers. He pushed Mark down on the sofa. His arm still around Mark’s waist. His lips biting his ears. Mark could feel Jackson pulling his boxers down. He felt himself panic and hold on to his boxers tight. Jackson sensing that, he stopped and started teasing his nipples again.

“Relax Yien. I won’t hurt you but I need to prepare you okay?”

He was licking and sucking his neck, pulling his face towards him so that he could kiss him. He could feel Mark yielding to him and didn’t even realize when Jackson had pulled his boxers down. Mark didn’t even notice when Jackson had taken a bottle of lubricant out from the table next to the sofa. He only realize it when he felt something cold touching his ass gently. Mark felt like his heart could jump out of his chest cause this is it. There was no turning back and Jackson was too far gone for him to even try to stop him. Mark willed himself to relax.

 

As he felt Jackson gently tease his hole, letting him get use to the sensation of his finger touching him, he could feel Jackson gently mouthing his nape and shoulder.

“Trust me.”

Mark nods. Closing his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing and Jackson’s breathing to keep his mind from freaking out. The first time he felt Jackson’s finger inching into him, he had the urge to run away from him. He whimpers.

“Shhh… It’s okay baby. Just breathe… Slowly push yourself back into my finger. It’ll help you get use to it.”

Mark didn’t even notice the term of endearment but he obeyed Jackson anyway. It was uncomfortable at first but he was getting use to it.

“I’ll add another finger okay and another until you get use to it.”

“Okay,” Mark whispered.

Slowly, Jackson notice that Mark wasn’t squirming anymore and Mark himself but slowly liking the feeling of Jackson’s finger in him. When Jackson somehow manage to brush the bundle of nerves that was in him, he found himself whining and writhing, pulling Jackson for a kiss. It felt weird but it was nice.

“Did I find your spot baby?”

Mark nods, “Do it again.”

Jackson did what he was told and was exhilarated to see Mark so pliant in his arms. He started stroking him and thrusting his fingers in him until he coax an orgasm out from Mark. Mark came, whimpering into Jackson’s mouth. Mark felt slightly embarrassed that he came just by Jackson’s teasing fingers.

“Baby, turn around. I wanna see your face.”

Mark did as he was told. It wasn’t easy doing that on a cramp sofa but they managed.

 

Jackson was sure that Mark’s body was thoroughly relax and he was not letting him go just like that. He started kissing Mark again. This time even more fervently. He took his time sucking on his collar bones and decided to give the same treatment to his nipples. How he love doing that to Mark. Mark on the other hand is unable to keep his voice in anymore as he was feeling sensitive all over. He tried by keeping his voice down by biting his finger but Jackson seems so determine to coax sounds out from him until he gave up. When Jackson’s mouth took his cock, Mark felt all guilt went out the window. It was sin the way Jackson is taking him. He felt himself arching towards Jackson. He could feel Jackson’s fingers teasing his hole as he was biting his thighs. Jackson’s mouth slowly made its way back to Mark’s lips. 

“I want to be in you baby. May I?”

He was actually seeking his permission. Mark would be lying if that didn’t make him melt just a little.

“Want you,” was all Mark manage to say while biting his ears.

Jackson took much care in making sure he slather lots of lubricant on himself and Mark. He didn’t want Mark’s first time with him to be a bad experience. This could be his first and last time with the elder.

 

When Jackson started to push himself slowly into Mark, he could feel Mark clenching him tightly.

“Relax baby. Spread your legs wider, it’ll help you to take me in better,” whispered Jackson.

Jackson peppered kisses on his shoulder and started to stroke him again to distract him. It seems to be working as Jackson started to continue pushing in slowly, he could feel Mark relaxing and not clenching so tightly on him. He had to make sure he didn’t come prematurely but it felt so good being in Mark.

“Baby you feel so good. So hot.”

Jackson could see the pain in Mark’s face. He knew he was trying to get use to the feeling of Jackson in him. Mark never felt so much pain in his life but when he heard those words from Jackson, he felt that everything will be okay.

“You can move now Jiaer.”

Jackson started moving slowly, making sure that Mark was comfortable and distracted him by sucking and biting him. After a while, he could hear Mark whining and whimpering again. It was music to his ears. Jackson began to thrust faster and he was sure he hit Mark’s sensitive spot when Mark wrapped his arms around him tightly, biting on his shoulders. Jackson concentrate on hitting it over and over again until he could feel Mark’s tensed up and came violently between them. Jackson started thrusting faster as he felt his own orgasm coming. Mark held onto him until he felt warm inside.  They laid there kissing languidly for a while, coated in cum and sweat but both equally sated. 

“I think I need a shower Jiaer.”

Jackson laughs. He didn’t expect Mark to say that after what they have done.

“Yeah, and I need to do laundry and disinfect the sofa.”

Jackson got up, wrapped the elder with the blanket and carried him, bridal style.

“Hey, put me down. I can walk on my own.”

“After that? Don’t think so and I don’t think you want to feel my cum dripping out of you when you walk.”

Mark blushed. Jackson chuckles.

 

 

Jackson insisted on taking a shower with Mark. He wanted to make sure that Mark was cleaned thoroughly and he was sure that Mark needed help in the shower. After drying each other, Jackson carried Mark to bed. Jackson then decided to be a koala in bed. He wrapped his arms around Mark, head on his chest. Mark was stroking his hair. Suddenly the guilt hit him.

“Jiaer, what do we tell Jinyoung?”

Jackson chuckled. He looked up to Mark, his chin on Mark’s chest.

“Don’t kill me okay but Jinyoung is actually my colleague from work.”

“What?!?!”

“He was the one that actually suggested that we become pretend boyfriends to see how you would react. I thought I had lost you until tonight.”

“This was all a scam to make me jealous?”

Jackson kissed him gently.

“This was my last chance to see if my best friend wanted me like I wanted him. I love you Yien. I’ve loved you since I was 16.”

Mark could see the sincerity in his eyes and hell, he had always been in love with Jackson for a while now but he was just too blind to see it.

“I love you too Jiaer. I don’t know since when but I really do.”

They both smiled and Jackson went back to his koala hugging ways.

“By the way, did you just call me baby while we were doing it Jiaer?”

“Can’t hear you Yien. I’m in a post coistal bliss.”

Mark pulled Jackson’s ears and the younger pretended to be asleep. He continued running his fingers through Jackson’s hair. It wasn’t long till they both fell asleep, feeling happy and sated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some request for a sequel so here it is. Hoped you like it (:

**Author's Note:**

> Had an idea that I just needed to get it out. Open to interpretation.


End file.
